Tel: 01559 362510
What is mediation?
The purpose of mediation is to support two or more people find their own mutually agreeable resolution.
Sometimes conversations can reach a stuck place. There can be numerous reasons for this. Here are some examples:
It has been my experience that a third person with skills in how to help each person really listen to the other is often what is needed to re-build connection and trust which in turn brings about the possibility for resolution.
It is often a much more affordable (in time, money and emotional energy) option than going through the legal process.
Sometimes conversations can reach a stuck place. There can be numerous reasons for this. Here are some examples:
- The people involved are hearing blame and/or speaking in a blaming or criticising way rather than focusing on the underlying needs of both people
- There is old trauma being stimulated by the conversation for one or both parties
- Trust has been lost that one's own needs really matter
- The two parties have got stuck in black and white thinking: an 'either/or' paradigm
- One or both parties have confused their one strategy for their underlying deeper needs and so have shut down to other possible outcomes
It has been my experience that a third person with skills in how to help each person really listen to the other is often what is needed to re-build connection and trust which in turn brings about the possibility for resolution.
It is often a much more affordable (in time, money and emotional energy) option than going through the legal process.
Who do you work with?
I work with:
- Couples who are struggling in their partnership and wondering whether to stay together or separate
- People who are still needing to communicate with an ex-partner
- Parents and their teenage children
- Small family businesses - where there has been a falling out over business matters
- Friends, family members or neighbours who find themselves disconnected and/or in dispute
- etc
What qualifications do you have?
I am an OCN accredited mediator and affiliated with the Peaceful Solutions Centre in London (www.peacefulsolutions.co.uk).
I am also a certified Nonviolent Communication (NVC) trainer - I am certified by the Center for NVC in Albuquerque, USA (www.cnvc.org)
I am also a certified Nonviolent Communication (NVC) trainer - I am certified by the Center for NVC in Albuquerque, USA (www.cnvc.org)
How does the mediation process work?
.Even though disputes can often feel intractable by the parties concerned, in reality, it is often simply that emotions have escalated and trust has broken down. Through the use of NVC and mediation skills, I can support that trust to be rebuilt - and a 'bridge' can be created to allow the flow of useful communication to happen again.
Step one
Although every case is different, usually, I would begin with a free half hour chat with you to determine whether you want to go ahead with initiating mediation and whether your case is suitable for mediation.
Step two
If you decide to go ahead, we book a one-to-one session (in person or by phone or Skype) so that I can get a fuller picture of the situation. In that session you decide whether you want to go to the next step.
Step three
I make contact with the other person(s) and ask for their willingness to book an appointment with me so that I can hear the story from their perspective.
Depending on the complication of the issues, these two one-to-one sessions may be all that are needed to go ahead with setting up the mediation.
Step four
In some cases, one mediation session is all that is needed for the two parties to find a satisfactory resolution. In other situations, a longer session and/or a number of mediated sessions are needed. If an agreement is needed, the agreement is usually put in writing and signed by both parties (although it is not a legally-binding agreement).
Step five
Once an agreement is found and both parties have agreed to it, mediation is complete except for a short follow-up phone session with both parties separately at some agreed point after completion.
Step one
Although every case is different, usually, I would begin with a free half hour chat with you to determine whether you want to go ahead with initiating mediation and whether your case is suitable for mediation.
Step two
If you decide to go ahead, we book a one-to-one session (in person or by phone or Skype) so that I can get a fuller picture of the situation. In that session you decide whether you want to go to the next step.
Step three
I make contact with the other person(s) and ask for their willingness to book an appointment with me so that I can hear the story from their perspective.
Depending on the complication of the issues, these two one-to-one sessions may be all that are needed to go ahead with setting up the mediation.
Step four
In some cases, one mediation session is all that is needed for the two parties to find a satisfactory resolution. In other situations, a longer session and/or a number of mediated sessions are needed. If an agreement is needed, the agreement is usually put in writing and signed by both parties (although it is not a legally-binding agreement).
Step five
Once an agreement is found and both parties have agreed to it, mediation is complete except for a short follow-up phone session with both parties separately at some agreed point after completion.
Why choose mediation?
If you have reached a place where you no longer feel able to continue communicating in a dispute situation with another person, you have a number of choices. For example, you can:
- Try to ignore the situation/person and hope that doing this won't have long term consequences for you
- Take the dispute through a legal process and allow an arbitrator to decide the outcome (this typically involves one person 'winning' the case and one person 'losing' it).
- Use aggression to try to force the other person to your way of thinking (not recommended and not legal!)
- Ask someone who is trusted to be impartial to mediate in order to support everyone involved coming to a mutually satisfying resolution. This is usually the most cost-effective solution and often the only solution that offers the possibility of a win/win solution
How much does it cost?
I ask £50 per hour for the individual sessions and £75-£100 per hour per person for any mediated sessions.
If this is unaffordable to you please ring to discuss anyway - we may together find a payment scheme that could work for us all.
If this is unaffordable to you please ring to discuss anyway - we may together find a payment scheme that could work for us all.
Free 1/2 hour chat offered
If you think you could benefit from this kind of support please contact me to discuss your personal situation so that we can decide together whether I can be of help and at a price that is affordable to you and sustainable for me.
